Hard to Believe

Some of you may already know... but to all those who read this... now you will all know that we are expecting a baby to be born around the 17th of June in 2010! (I know it's a boy! HA HA)...



I had a wonderful experience today that I really wanted to share. It was a moment in the day that simply put... put life into perspective. You all know... a moment that makes you say "I get it now". Somehow I managed to savor the moment despite the whirlwind of activity that could have ruined it for me.



I got to hear this little miracle heartbeat! It was amazing to me because of the flood of thoughts that come roaring through your mind after you hear what a 150 beats per minute sounds like through a little ultrasonic jukebox of pregnancy. I saw the heartbeat a while back during an ultrasound... and that was a wonderful thing... yet when I heard it, it took on a whole new meaning for me. My very first thought was that heartbeat sounds healthy. Now I am no medical doctor... that was just my first thought. Then my second thought... I got scared to death. There were moments of bliss, knowing that I was going to be a father, and moments of pure terror also knowing that I was going to be a father!



I left the office of that doctor with a miriad of thoughts that I will be pondering for quite some time. I wondered with great respect for God, why the path for me only had a few bumps along the way, and why the path for my life long friends Cole and Natalie was much more difficult. No good answer came in revelation of this part of God's plan. And that made me wonder... am I worthy of the responsibility to raise one of God's little ones? Have I prepared enough? Have I repented enough? Have I learned enough lessons "the hard way" to teach someone else what not to do? Again no good answer came to this simple mind. What I did have was a confirmation of sorts. I looked at Mindy, my beautiful wife in the eyes... and she smiled back at me, and she told me that she loved me. I knew that if God were to bless me with a child based strictly on my merits, choices and such... I would be waiting a very long time and the day might never come. Yet when I looked in Mindy's eyes I knew that she was one of God's chosen mothers. That she was someone so special to God that despite the failures of her husband she had enough of the good stuff to carry us through to the blessings. Then I thought how blessed I was to have such a woman in my life. Someone that did enough good in this world for two people. I also thanked God for a mother that tought me to look for virtue and charity among many other things in a companion, and then I thanked God some more for giving me the strength to hold out until I found Mindy. With her talents in the mix I feel confident that I can be a father and a dad. Life is so enjoyable and knowing that I get to spend eternity with this special woman brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am truly blessed.

So the "I get it now" moment was the realization that God wants to tell me that I am not alone in this world. That I have others to help me in this life and eternity. Others to help build me up and strengthen me. And so I have to tell my greatest source of strength on this earth... To Mindy, "Look at you girl". Let the rest of eternity start with me telling you how much I love you.